This article is about how to deal with anxiety in general and especially in your love life. See, being worried can totally ruin your chance to find the man of your dreams. It can even break a relationship that you already have! A few years ago, I had a girlfriend who was constantly worried. Even today, many of my friends still don’t understand why we broke up. We were so close.
Don’t let that happen to you. Here we go!
Related article: What If I Never Find A Boyfriend? Dealing With Fear.
Why you should deal with your fears and anxiety.
Here is why you should start right away to deal with your fears and anxiety.
- And anxious person cannot have a happy love life. Period
- An anxious person is unable to appreciate a great moment with her or his love partner. This is dangerous because
that situation creates a feeling of being unimportant and incapable in the loved one. This is a feeling that that men hate. For sure, they will start to look for somebody else. - Anxiety is like a magnet. It attracts negative and anxious people. It means that, soon or later, you will start to be surrounded with anxious people. How can you get away of that paralyzing state of mind in those circumstances? Think about it.
Some important signs
Look. There are some signs that you should pay attention. Find 2 or 3 of those symbols and you will have a clue that you might be anxious right now.
One of the signs, beside of being worried all the time, is that you seem to be always tired. Think about the last time you had a moment with your friends in a restaurant. Tell me. Can you date new a guy (or your boyfriend) without being absent mentally most of the time?
Hum…
Another sign of being anxious is that you are over-planning everything. You want to control everything around you. Of course, you realize that it’s impossible, don’t you?
Anxious people tend to ask a lot of question, to seek reassurance from others. If you have one of those traits, you better take a serious look to your general state of mind.
What is anxiety?
Let’s say that anxiety is self-preservation instinct gone wild. The reason is quite simple. You are always afraid that something bad will happen to you. Do you feel, in some ways, that the world is plotting against you? This is, no doubt, a sign that you are anxious. In other words, see anxiety as something a bit more complicated that an emotion: anxiety is a state of mind.
It can have many forms. For instance, you may have negative and disturbing thoughts about your future, your past, your loved one. You may feel that you will never have the chance to find a man to marry. This is a difficult situation because your gesture, your behaviors tend to adjust to your beliefs, your fears.
But there are ways to lower your amount of anxiety. Here are some ideas.
Breathing exercises (with a little twist).
Breathing exercises are well known as an excellent exercise to release the pressure. For sure, it works. In fact, I’m a bit surprising that only a few people use breathing exercises as a daily routine.
Maybe the reason is that it’s looks so boring.
A good way to add some “spice” to your breathing exercise is to simply practice it outside. I love to take a time to breathe in a park just walking or lying on the grass. The trees, the sky (and even the moon) have a relaxing virtue. Their presences will help you to slow down your thoughts as you breathe calmly. No need to use any “mantras” or to count from 1 to 5 as you inhale and exhale. Just admire the sky. Hear the wind getting between the tree branches. Hear the leaves softly shaking. Have you noticed how great the nature sounds?
Take notes
Another good way to remove some anxiety is to observe your thoughts, your non-verbal language. Yes, that’s right. It’s that’s simple. This technique is an excellent way to understand more clearly what’s going on in your mind. As you are writing in your notepad, you will eventually notice some patterns. Write in your journal how you feel, what is worrying you.
What you want is to observe your emotions. Doing so, you will start to put some distance between your state of mind and your own person -after all you are not your worries, right? You are more than that. I know a man who has started to time his worrying moment! He was sometime very depressed and anxious about his love life: he could not find a girlfriend. He simply started to put some numbers on his fears, as if they were laboratory rats. That’s how he started to take some distance with his anxieties. It’s impressive. The bottom line is this: observe, analyze. Here is why this technique is useful.
Related article: know more about the inner talk, read the article Make a man crazy about you by respecting yourself.
Focus on what you can change
The more you observe your emotions, the more you will start to understand them. This is the moment when you will have the opportunity to focus on things in your life that you can change.
Let’s take this example. You have not found a man yet. But it happens that you are worried about a possible betrayal that
you may experience with your future boyfriend. After all, this is what happened to your friend, right? This is the kind of anxiety that can totally ruin all your chances to find your love. Yes, lies, betrayal exist. But no matter how hard you try, you will never control the future because it simply doesn’t belong to you.
The fact of the matter is it doesn’t exist at all. Yet.
So the only thing you can focus on is your present. The first step is to accept the fact that you are anxious about something that you can‘t control. Let your consciousness penetrate your emotions. Observe them. This is the perfect way to start to spot the lies that your emotions hides about your life. You have no real power over people. But you surely can change your attitude about life in general. For instance, why not practicing happiness about things that you have instead of things that you don’t? This habit can seriously weaken your fears.
Related article: to know more about the art of observing your emotions, read the article How To Mend My Broken Heart? 2 solutions To Help You Feel Better.
Conclusion
Lady, in general remember this: being proactive will always be a better strategy to make your life easier. Being anxious is by essence a passive attitude. That’s the reason it’s so painful.
Now you know that being anxious about being lonely forever will do nothing for you, right? But do not be hard on yourself if you are. Just be aware of it. Then act.
Once it’s done, go and find your amazing man!
Do you have any question? Any comments? There’s a little white box below just for you. I’ll be more than happy to read your ideas?
Love,
Jo Fontaine.
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