Turning the wheel
Saturday morning, I turn on my old clock radio. Hugh… At this time, I remembered why I haven’t used it for a while. You know the little wheel on site that you have to turn to find your favorite radio station? When you just keep on turning and turning… but nothing happens… That’s why I use my tablet nowadays. By mistake, I choose a podcast and the first thing I hear is a young lady who says:
“I have problems to keep a boyfriend. In fact, I don’t know what a stable love life is. My friends say that I’m too picky”.
Now, I have said that you better be a bit too picky than be with the wrong person. But for some people, the wheel is turning a bit too much. They never seem to be satisfied. Look like they just can’t find the right man. Is that your case?
Elaine Benes: are you saying that 95% of the population is undateable?
Jerry Seinfeld : Undateable!!!
Seinfeld– The wink episode
It’s not my problem… Really…
It’s very rare that a person who’s too picky admits his/her tendencies. Take just moment to think about. If you see a red light just over your head, it means that this article just for you, lady. You hear a little bell ringing and say:
“Hum… Maybe I’m in this kind of situation. I don’t know…”
A good way to start is to observe your actions. In fact, here are the reasons why you will need to take a hard look on yourself. The best way to understand your behavior is to observe them yourself. Other people’s observation rarely persuades. You will have to create your own motivation to make the adjustment needed in your behavior. Anyway, you don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life, right? You are a sweet lady who has a lot to offer. You deserve a man who will appreciate who you are. Why killing all your chances?
So here are some reasons why being too picky may be a nuisance for you.
Reason #1: Chemistry needs time. Well sometime…
“Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, and think about you”. Cyndi Lauper-Time after time
Sometimes, it just happens in a flash. But usually, it will take at least one or two more dates. Chemistry needs a reason to sink in the experience that you and your date have. That’s when your copy of the eBook Conversation Chemistry will be a precious tool for you: you don’t have to wait more than you need. Use the techniques that you have learned to accelerate the process and create some magic around you.
Reason #2: Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling…
I don’t know what comes first. You will tell me. Some writers say that the problem is created by technology. I don’t know. This argument looks like the one that critics used against television in the 80s and against comic books in the 60s. With all the single sites available on the net, it’s easy to read the profile and find a little detail that will disqualify a candidate for your heart. There’s so much choice so why should we make an effort? Be careful. The consumer society has arrived in the love market! But most of the jewels are found under the rocks today. You will have to dig a bit. You may miss a wonderful man because you are too picky.
Reason #3: Baby I’m a star- Prince. Baby I’m a start.
I’m a start or a princess! Do you have the Madame Bovary’s syndrome? Think about it. In this novel published in 1856, Madame Bovary dreams to have a wonderful love life just like the heroines of her favorite love novels. The result is that her love life is a complete mess. Sure today, I presume that most of you, ladies, do not read love novels that much (at least women around me don’t read that kind of literature). But, today, we have the net; we have reality shows, we have TMZ. The last wedding in Buckingham palace was sooo romantic! Maybe you still have that ideal, perfect husband in mind. Maybe that in some ways, you think exactly like what the young woman who has said in an interview:
“I know that perfection doesn’t exist. But if thinking about it makes me feel good, I don’t see why I should expect to find something less than that”.
Obviously, that woman doesn’t know what perfection all about in relationship (to know more about it, read the article 5 Signs he’s the right guy for you). She will have a lot of tribulations in her love life…
Reason#4: the list
Here comes the famous long list. I’ve talk about it a few times. Many women have that heavy tendency to write a long list of qualities that their man should have. I still remember Steve Harvey’s face. He was listening to a woman reading her long list of virtues his man should have. Almost speechless, Steve said:
“To me, it seems that the man you are looking for is God…”
Not only you will have problem to find this man (at less on this planet earth) but you will always look at men in a negative angle so to speak: you will be unable to appreciate a person by his qualities. The only thing that you will see is what bothers you. Since you have a long list, a lot of things will bug you. Are you getting judgmental at the first second you see a man? Sure, there’s a certain kind of man that arouses you. But do you judge a book only by its cover? You may miss the best man around you because you refused to dig a bit more.
Some ladies want to check each and every box of their long list. If they can’t, then they give up.
They give up a lot.
Do you have any question, any comment? Please share them with us. Don’t be shy!
You already know that, to find love, you will have to know exactly what you are looking for. A man that is just perfect for you. A man who will be your wonderful boyfriend and who could (who knows?) be the right husband.
But it may never happen if you are too picky.
Now go, lady! And find your amazing man!