“A right will bring you right back here to me” Good Direction”– Billy Currington
We have talked about commitment in a past article. Now let’s see it in another way. Commitment is more like a journey than a destination. In fact, I should say that you and your man are on a road that reveal itself as a beautiful experience. And yes… That road can take the shape of a real nightmare. But that’s not the point there. Just realize this: there is no destination at all. There’s just the road. In these modern days, men are not necessary “man of means by no means” like Roger Miller says. But they are “king of the road” in some way.
Yes, lady, they tend to think like everything is in movement. They see themselves moving forward or backward. The first is a wonderful feeling. The other one is awful.
That’s until they have the feeling of being stuck. It’s the worst that can happen.
Where are we?
I can see in your mind, right now.
I hear you saying this:
“I’m sick and tired of waiting. I want him to be my man for real. Why doesn’t he make up his mind?”
This is a problem that a lot of women are facing today. And you know what? Men start to have the same problem too. The headache starts with a certain equation.
“A equation, Jo? Come on… I’m in no mood to talk about mathematic…”
Well, the equation I’m talking about is this one: if he says that he loves me, he has to make the step and commit to me.
This is a girl equation. Men do not think this way (at least not today). Back in the days, he had to make that decision. But it was mandatory. Most of the time, it was really his decision. Today, tradition is not as strong as it used to be. It’s all about that darn movement.
“Will I still be able to do what I want to do? Will I still be able to do what I want, to pursue my dreams? Maybe I will be stuck. I don’t want to be in jail.”
Back or forward. But being stuck? No way!
So what can you do about that fear? The easiest way is to show your appreciation.
Appreciation is liberating
Imagine. You just had a new hair color. I guess that you will wait to hear a compliment about your new look, Right? A kind word makes you feel good. It gives you fuel to continue to walk forward until you reach your goal. Sometimes, if you have doubts, a simple compliment will build up you strength. You are ready to fight again. Dream, here I am!
Men are no different.
Fear is very heavy in one’s mind. Showing appreciation can not only weaken that emotion. It’s fresh air. What a relief! There’s no surprise about that:
“To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead”. – Bertrand Russell.
Every action you do, every thoughtful words you say will make your man realize that not only he still can pursue his dreams, his passion; he will find out that, not only he has a great lady: He has a life partner.
A boyfriend connoisseur
“Ok, Jo. So where do I start?”
Well since appreciation can remove gradually the sense of being trapped, the first step would be to become the best boyfriend connoisseur. You know, just like those specialists who like to gargle with expensive wine?
You will have to look at his action. When you like something, just say it. Better: call him and just when he thinks that you will ask for something, just say
“Thank you baby for (– fill the blank–)”.
Word is not cheap.
See, a lot of men are goal oriented. I’m not saying that women are not like that. But with men, it’s almost ridiculous. That’s why a lot of them have problems to understand the importance of just living the moment, the importance of feeling great inside.
A lot of us will say this: You take a break because you are tired.
“But how about having a good quality of life”, I ask?
“W-what are you talking about, Jo? Do you mean that you want to have a better job? You want to kick your boss’s behind? You want to have more time with your friends? More women?”
There’s always a goal. The problem is that there’s no reason why you would want to feel great inside -except that you just want to.
We, men, have problem to talk in terms of how we feel inside. The only expection is when we are mad. And even then, we will just say:
“I’m so pissed off. Wait till I get that son of a b…”
It means that most men are looking for a reason to feel great. You have the opportunity to give that reason. At this moment, he will feel appreciated. He will start to understand how important you are for his life. Like a great friend of mine (a former womanizer) told me a few months ago, talking about his girlfriend:
“I can’t imagine my life without her”…
What? Need ideas?
The goal of this article is not to make a list of ways to make your man feel appreciated. But I will share with you the one that is, maybe, the most underestimated: the famous welcome hug. There’s a reason why some hugs groups have been organized. Hugs just do miracles. Think about how babies react when you take them in your arms. Hey! Apparently, we, men, are big babies, no?
OK, let’s be serious. Hugs are great for everyone. And, lord, it means a lot for your man. Imagine. The day have been rough (at college, at work, it doesn’t matter). Then your boyfriend, see and feel your sweet harms around his neck. All the shitty day is gone. A welcome hug changes everything. You have no idea of the effect you can create in a man’s mind with just a nice, firm hug.
Hugs have a great power indeed. As we were breaking up, an ex- girlfriend told me:
“What I can’t stand is that even if you have a really bad day, you always stay calm”.
I was a bit chocked. She didn’t know that every time I had a rough day at the office, just thinking about her sweet hugs changed everything: the bad vibration was gone. Nothing left. It was like magic.
Maybe I should have told her. Anyway…
For sure, you will find awesome ideas in your copy of the eBook Get A Great Guy Guide. They will help you to get to the next stop with your man.
And yes, there’s a little box below if you have any questions, or comments to share.
Now you know how to play with your man’s emotions positively.
Go and make yourself irreplaceable in his life.