Love: do the opposite really attract?

Suddenly this guy is crazy in love with you. The power of sexual tension.

I don’t know them but they are cute together

“Vive la difference!” A French saying

No, I don’t know Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry personally, but I like them both.  I’m a big fan of the Lord of the Rings; I like most of the songs that Katy Perry sings (especially Firework) I really wish the best for this couple. Sure they have difficult time. But things seem to work out nowadays, so a journalist asks:

What is your secret?”

The answer that Perry gives surprises me. She talks about finding “balance” and then says:

The opposites attract”

Hum…. How many times have you heard that before? Is it true that opposite temperament can go along well? Can a man seduce you even if he his personality is totally different from yours?  Is that difference a good ingredient for a long term relationship?


Some people say: “yes”

“I take two steps forward. I take two steps back. We come together ‘cause opposite attract”.

Paula Abdul – Opposite attract.

It’s funny.  See, specialists and psychologists have opposite opinions about that subject. Now, I don’t know if they will start to tap dance together like Paula did in her video!

So what are their arguments? They will say:

“Your man will complete you, madam. This is a good thing…”

Imagine that you are very shy (maybe that you are). If your man is outgoing, he will help you to have a better moment in some social occasions. Let’s say that you are an artist. If you are like me, you’re not the best organized person around. A man who is very logical in his action but lack of that fire to start a project may be your perfect partner. You will complete each other.

Another argument is that if your man has a complete different point of view of things, he can surely help you when it’s time to approach your problem in a new angle. This situation can bring some tension in the couple.  No problem, some writers argue:  a little of disagreement is good.  It puts some spice in your couple. Who needs a boring love life?


Some people say: “nope”

People who say “no” have their own arguments too. Here’s what they would say to you:

“Girl, try to take a hard look at yourself the next time you will see a mirror. You do not look like a magnet with its positive and negative side. You are human being. Love is not an electric phenomenon. It’s more complicated than that.”

Do you think they have a point?

Well, look at all the separations and divorces. A lot of ex boyfriends and girlfriends use the word “incompatibly” as an official reason for their break-ups. If they don’t, they will use an expression that will describe the same problem (and not in a very polite way).

So why do we still think that opposite attract? The reason is that contract stands out. When you will see that phenomenon in a couple, you will for sure notice it. You can’t help it.

I know a couple.  A very spectacular one, indeed! The man is disorganised and gets distracted all the time; the lady is a methodical type of person. When he was younger, he was a party organizer (an excellent one I’ve heard). He was the best to bring people on the dance floor; she serves in the army and was a hell of a good soldier.

Those two lovely persons are always arguing about everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. It’s so funny that once I said:

“You know what, guys? You are better than watching TV. I could just sit here and watch you for hours. The only thing missing is some pop corn”

The lady smiled

“Well, if you want, I can make you some, darling”

They both laughed. What a lovely couple.


love and boyfriends: Do the opposite really attract?


Those who say:”How the F?%$ would I know?”

“One person is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving” Paulo Coelho

“What can make me feel this way? My girl” The Temptations– my girl

They are some specialist who says that you just can’t clearly draw a line. In some ways, I’m one of them. The couple I just talked about is still going strong 15 years later. Yes, there was a break up once. But they got back together about a year later. No doubt, those two lovers do complete themselves.  Like I said, the man, who is 12 years older, was a party man. The night-life almost burned him out. He needed more structure in his life.

In fact, he met the love of his life at a party that he has organized! What a relief for him.

In her case, she grew up in a very strict family. Her mother was a real tyrant. She never had the chance to hang out with her friend, never had the chance to have a boyfriend.

The man of her life is the first boyfriend that she has ever had. In golf, we would say that it’s an amazing hole in one!

But the most important is not that they gave each other the chance to find a balance. Their secret is that they both have the same value. They want to help those who are in needs. They are both involved in their community.  You have a problem with an ex who doesn’t think that child support is important? They will go in their files to find a good lawyer for you.

They don’t ask anything for their help.

This couple is so passionate. They both love life, dance and music. That’s why I love them so much.

See, sure sometimes opposite attract. But it’s still what is common that will hold your couple together. You can find balance by yourself. But it’s so fun to share your passion with somebody who’s dear to you.

“Let there be laughter and sharing of pleasure.”  Khalil Gibran

It’s so easy to get in the trap of the opposite. You think that this though guy (but sweet with you) will put some passion in your boring life. You are so shy that this public speaker seems to be the perfect mate to help you to get out of your cocoon.  Just remember that what you are looking for is a life partner. Not only a lifeline.

Is he the right one?  Use the techniques you have read in your book conversation chemistry to find out if he’s the perfect man for you: the man you will be your next boyfriend and (who knows?) the right husband for you.

Now you know that the opposite is sometimes cute. But what is common is priceless.

Go! And find your amazing man.


Jo Fontaine


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