So you are with him since a while. You are asking yourself why he has not proposed yet. In this article, I will explain how men think and why you are still waiting for the big question. Know those reason and you will be able to develop a strategy and make him ask the big question. Here we go!
Reason # 1: Love and being with the one
A lot of men seem make a difference between being in love and being with The One. Now, I don’t mean that he doesn’t love you. It’s just that for most men, the feeling of being with the right one is not exactly the same as been in love with a woman. This is the reason why some writer wrote that it’s never a good thing to be married with a woman that we loved.
Those writers lived 300 hundreds years ago. Today, men want to marry the woman they love. But still, those old texts reveal a certain truth about the emotions men feel inside. Maybe he loves you. But maybe he’s not sure you are the one.
Reason #2: now is the time
Now that you know that men need to feel 2 emotions minimum to propose, let’s explore the second emotion and reason why it takes time, sometimes, to appear. One of the causes is timing. In love, men have tendencies to break down everything they do in step.
You already know those expressions: first base, second base, ext… Those expressions reveal some truth. Men do need to feel that the first step is reach before he gets to the next one.
This is the reason why so many people have been surprised by their friend’s attitude. He was in couple with a sweet woman that was just perfect for him. He knew he was with the one but finally broke up. 2 years later, he marries a woman who is less than perfect for him. Everybody knows that this woman is not at all in the same category as the first one. But the man thinks that now is the time for the next step.
Value and quality as nothing to do with that…
What could be the step before proposing? Well many men think that they need to be financially strong, have a house before they get married and have kids. Yes, you do work to. The family would have two salaries and not one. But this argument will not hit the target. It’s all about emotion, about what a man feel about his identity.
Sometime, the bad timing will be quite obvious. Your man is still studying or he is making some changing in his career. Sometime you will have to dig a bit: he still believe that he has not experience the fooling around stage enough. But the timing moment can be obscure and hidden in all kind of fear and desire we will talk those situations as we go with the article.
Related article: check the article 3 reasons why your man hesitates to marry you and what you can do about it to know more about what is timing for men
Reason #3 the fear factory
Another reason is fear. The origin of fear can be simple to understand. For instance, your man can be hesitant to propose because he may have grown in a family where the mother was verbally abusive. He just doesn’t want to in himself in the same situation his father was.
Sometimes, fear is created by a mix of comments he have receive since he was a kind. “Being married is like doing time”. “Beware of “the sex strike”. Women are good at it”. “Do you really want her to spy everything you do?” “You will lose a lot of money after your divorce”.
Fear of married life is mostly related to sex and the feeling of losing some kind of liberty. This emotion cannot be eradicated by discussion and argument. Like I have said in another article, fear will disappear or reinforce as he observe your attitude.
A last type of fear is created by pasted experience. But since men who have been married once are more willing to get married again, I will not talk about this aspect of fear of conjugal life in this article.
Related article: Check the review how to make him crazy about you- His secret obsession to know how to bring up his hero instinct and make him want to commit to you.
Reason #4: he just can’t decide
This reason is larger than you relationship problem. He’s not afraid of committing to you. He’s afraid to commit to anything. Usually you will find out that character trait in his general attitude. Does he hesitate to make any kind of decision? This problem is more and more common in men and women today. People have a lot of plan but are unable to stick to their plan.
You probably already know what I think about ultimatum. This strategy may the right one to use in this situation. Just don’t be indecisive when you will have to pull the trigger…
Related article: check the post How to make a man miss you to make him understand that he cannot afford to lose you.
Reason #5: he just doesn’t want to…
This reason is rarely talked about. He just doesn’t want to. Here, I’m talking he has philosophical, sociological argument to back up his decision. Now you don’t have to be agreed with their reason. But their reason to no propose has nothing to do with fear. More and more women refuse to be married for this type of reason too. They don’t like the idea of being owned. Men who do not like marriage for a philosophical reason rarely change their mind. You only have 2 choices if you find yourself in this situation: Accept it or find another man. It’s that simple.
Now you know what going on in the men mind if you are still waiting for him to propose.
Do you have any question? Any comments? There’s a little box below. I’ll be more than happy to answer you.
Go! And find your amazing man!
Love,
Jo Fontaine
XOXO
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