This is something that’s always come to your mind.
“I need a husband”, “I want a boyfriend…”
In this article, I will talk about the different ways you can deal with that need that sometimes totally ruins your day. You may realize that, usually, this desire hides other needs that stay in the shadow.
So let’s take a look to those hidden needs. Maybe you will discover that even if they feel like a nuisance, they are, in fact, a good wake up call for you. Here we go!
You want a husband to feel loved and appreciated.
Maybe you do not feel loved and appreciated right now; you think that getting married will fill a hole inside. Now, it will. At least for a moment…
Then the need will come again; even if you have a husband by your side who deeply loves you. For sure, he will not understand why you feel this way. So not only you will suffer in the future. Your man will too,
You deserve better. Your man deserves better.
This is why you need to fulfill that need right now. You want to fix that problem today to protect your future marriage. Let’s say it another way. The first step to have a good marriage is not to find a man. It’s to take care of the insecurities that may destroy your relationship even before you get that rig around your finger.
Here, we need to understand why we do not feel appreciated. We will then find the solutions to fulfil that need by ourselves. Here we go.
Related article: to know how to deal with your emotions, read the article How To Mend My Broken Heart? 2 solutions To Help You Feel Better.
1) We are skeptical. We do not give ourselves the time to absorb positive emotions.
We have problem to accept the fact that, sometimes, people have good thoughts about ourselves. We do not believe them. I had that problem. I had an ex-girlfriend who had (and still has) problems to accept a compliment.
“You say that I’m beautiful just because I’m naked”.
She just can’t accept a compliment. Too skeptical.
The best solution with that problem is to accept what life has something to offer. Accept the compliments, with a warm smile. Don’t be shy to say “thanks, you are very kind” when someone does something for you. Even if it’s a simple gesture like holding the door for you.
Be warm. It will make you feel great. It will make people around you feel great. And here you are, absorbing positive emotions every day.
Do that and you will notice that more and more people will want to get closer to you. No wonder that you start to understand that you are special.
Weird things will happen. For instance, a driver will stop his car right in the middle of the street to let you cross the boulevard and you will say:
“Man, it’s the third time it happens today. Wow…”
Yes. Indeed, your special.
Related article: to know more about how to create good vabration and all the good it can do to you, read the article 4 tips to attract a man now.
2) Count your blessings
The other great technique to fulfil by yourself that need to be appreciated is simply to count your blessings. That one is a classic.
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
It’s been a while I’ve been in church but I do remember a few things. Here, Paul talks about the right attitude everyone should have. It doesn’t matter if you are a believer or not.
All you have to do is to start with the first blessing. Then continue.
Says: “thanks for_________________ (fill the blank)”.
The more you do this, the more you will feel great and appreciated.
The more you will feel this way, the more you will shine.
The more you look fantastic, the more men will look at you.
Yep, that how things works. I’m not ashamed to say it this way:
Shine, lady. Shine!
You want children.
Here we are with the second need. For sure, this is a natural need. And it can be a very tough one to deal with. Especially if time is running out. But realize this: if that need is too obvious, it will make men run away.
Especially the good ones.
Why? Well just like women do not want to be treated just like a sex toy, men hate to feel like that they are just genitors.
A man doesn’t want to have that thought popping in his mind:
“That woman doesn’t like me. All she wants is to have baby.”
Here, the best solution is again to have the most pleasant life possible. It will help you to hold back that desire a bit ( you will not talk about it at least for the 2 first dates).
You say you have no time to spend with losers? You want to set the record straight at the first date? It’s up to you. Just continue to use the other techniques in this article. They will help you when you will live a difficult moment.
Make them stop! It’s so embarrassing.
Maybe I shouldn’t assume that it’s true for everybody. But I will…
We all had to endure that question:
“When will you get married? How come you don’t have a boyfriend?”
For many women, the need to find a husband is related to the pressure the feel in their family or in their social circle. Here, the hidden need is to get rid of that pressure.
By the way, men have that problem too. Just like you, lady.
For me, it started when I was 19. It was a Sunday morning at the church. I was about to sit near the piano (I was the pianist in my church) when a man asked me:
“Do you have a Christian girlfriend, Jo? When will you get married?”
How many times I got that question? Gee… I thought it would never stop. Finally, it did. When I stopped going to church…
Now, I do not say that you will have to do the same. You are a believer? Stay.
But I know how difficult this situation can be. One solution is to understand why that person is harassing you. Once you get it, you start to feel that the weight on your shoulder is less heavy.
As a example, I will share with you the reason why I think that man was asking me that same question over and over.
He was jealous.
I was free and many girls of my age were interested in me; He was in an unhappy marriage.
Sometimes, people will harass you with their questions because their couple is a mess. They want you to get married, so they will not feel that they are the only one struggling.
Here’s another reason why married people will ask you that question: they feel that they are superior because they are married. Personally, I don’t think that those people are necessarily conscious of what they do (especially if they are members of your family). So here are 3 answers that you can give to survive that embarrassing moment.
Answer #1: When somebody you really care about asks you why you are still single, show some vulnerability.
“Why do you always ask that question? Don’t you see that you’re hurting me?”
Answer #2: this on is if someone you know very well (but you are not that close to ) asks you that darn question. Stay calm and say:
“Please. I would prefer that we talk about that subject only if come with it. O.k.?”
Answer #3: Let’s say that it’s someone that you know but you do not care that much about him/her:
“You ask a lot of questions. What’s your deal?”
More about that problem in the future. Promised.
Take those techniques and use them. You can modify them so they fit to your situation.
Now go, lady and find your amazing man