This article is for you if, sometimes, you are sick and tired to look for a new boyfriend. You know, when you say, raising your hands to the sky:
“I can’t find a boyfriend!”
You already know that I see you just like a friend: I don’t like the idea that you are suffering as you are looking for a man. This is why I will always keep writing so much about well-being on this blog, about how you can destroy your fears, your doubts. There is a rule that I will always say again and again:
Feel fantastic inside and you will be the best man magnet that you can be.
Yes, it’s that simple. And, yes, I know, it’s not that easy.
Back to the future
Let’s go back in time. Not that far, though. Try to remember the image that you had in your head the last time that you said :“ I can’t find a boyfriend”. I guess that a scene pops in your mind right now. Maybe it was the last time you were waiting for a phone call that never happened. You still have that movie in your head: one of your worst dates. Lord, that man was a jerk! You felt humiliated at first but now, a few weeks later, what you have is a kind of sour feeling. Tell me. Have you noticed that this image, this movie runs over and over in your head? I’m not blaming you for anything. I’m just asking you this: have you noticed it? But why stop with the little screen our head. What about the radio that keeps talking, saying over and over the same speech. You know what I mean, right? Now take a piece of paper and write down what you have observed.
You have now a great idea of what happening inside of your head.
What’s inside will affect what outside.
“Every thought is a cause and every condition is an effect”– Joseph Murphy
Here, I will not talk like Rhonda Byrne or like Joseph Murphy (a quote is enough). They both have wrote great books about the law of cause and effect, the link between what’s inside your mind and reality. I will simply say this. Let’s say that you are thinking again about mister no-show as you cross the street. You think that this guys deserve a punch in the face because he had the nerve to not show up in a first date. You just hate losing your time. As you are on the other site of the street, a handsome man raise his head and sees you. Wow! You blew his mind. That’s what you, ladies, can do to men.
“And I was shaking at the knees”- Thunderstroke ACDC
But you don’t see him. You are still thinking about this asshole…
Let the bad movie take care of itself
The good news is that you don’t have to get rid of anything. You don’t have to fight against yourself. No need to find a way to make you stop having “bad thoughts”. There is a reason why you are in a bad mood. This is how you feel today. It’s OK. How can you stop thinking about your bad experience? Well you don’t. What you can do however, is to build a new movie in your head. The movie of what you want to be in the future. Since you are busy creating those great new thoughts, the bad ones will have to take care of themselves. But they can’t do that for long.
So they will slowly disappear…
A feeling good movie
How do you create that awesome movie? I will ask you a few questions. Try to answer them the best you can. You will have plenty of time to elaborate over them later.
1) What kind of man are you really looking for. Forget about your long list (I have already talked about the problems that your long, long list can create). Just remember that perfection is not having all the qualities in the world. (But if this is what you are looking for, hey! who am I to criticize you. Just hope that you have no flaws either).
2) Imagine that you have reach your goal. Your perfect boyfriend, perfect husband is by your side, watching your favorite soap opera (just kidding! But, seriously, if you think about it, don’t do that to your man, please…). What else can you see that is the proof that your life has finally changed? Are you on vacation? Do you have kids? Maybe you are a writer and your man is helping you out creating some new characters.
3) Now, tell me how you feel in the future. What is your body language. Do you feel relaxed, happy? Describe the state of mind of the future-you.
4) This is the fun part (but the precedent points are pretty nice, no?). Here, you will pretend that the future-you is already there. You are that person. Now, what was in your mind is what you are. Take your time to FEEL that person. Think about what Jesus said:
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours“- Mark 11:24
It doesn’t matter if you are a believer or not. The idea is that you will have to pretend to have it so you finally get it. Anyway,
“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants:”-Coco Chanel
Practice, practice, practice
Now speak it, feel it: “ How wonderful it is to feel this way. I feel so pretty, so sexy. I’m not surprised that I’ve found that sweet and handsome man. I’m so glad that I reached my goal!”
What you do is building some sweet, awesome energy inside of you. This power will finally touch everyone around you. You will see things happening that you could never have thought possible before. You will laugh of things that would have hurt you only a few weeks before. This is the strong, sweet, positive woman I hope you will be. To know more about how to stay positive and how to be a vibrant woman, read the article Will I ever get a boyfriend? 3 techniques to stay positive.
Men can’t resist to that kind of women….
So now, you know. Go and find your amazing man.
Do you have any questions, any comments? Feel free to write them below, in the little box.