This is for you.
Listen. I want to talk to you about the very first step that you will have to do to flirt the right way with a guy using text. Sure, I could give you a thousand of catchy phrases right now. But there a good chance that you would have problems to apply those techniques: you need to be ready emotionally first.
This is the first goal fo this article.
You will learn how to prepare yourself emotionally so you can start to flirt like crazy with a guy using text messages. Once the first step is done, start to play us, men. Have fun!
Check the post 3 tips to drive him crazy about you with text messages to get hot text ideas and inspiration.
First things first: why do you want to text him?
You will tell me what you think.
UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian thinks that 58% of communication is made through body language. Add 35% of the information that comes from the tone of your voice and it leaves only 7% for your message itself.
Ouch!
If Mister Mehrabian is right, there is a problem. How do you flirting with a cute guy over text? I mean, you are far for him. He can’t see you; he can’t hear you. That’s why a lot of specialist believes that text will never be as effective as talking to a person.
Why people want to text (a lot of fear)
So why do people have tendency to text somebody they have just met? When you think about it, there’s a lot of fear behind that decision.
- For instance, the man you are texting will not hear your trembling voice. He will not see you blushing.
- If he doesn’t text you back, if will hurt. But as much as if he ignores you face to face.
- You have more control on the conversation.
- You have time to think a bit longer before you answer.
Think about all those fears that may influence your decision to use text instead of calling him. Remember what I said in the article How To Mend My Broken Heart? 2 solutions To Help You Feel Better. Always observe your feelings. Why do you want to text him? The more you dig, the more you will understand where those classic questions are coming from:
“But what if he doesn’t answer back?”
“What if I say something stupid?”
“Ugh. It so complicated… I don’t want to look too needy. How many times should it text him.”
Fear creates all those questions. That’s why it seems that the answers given are never satisfying. You will never get rid of fear with techniques or cleaver catch phrases. Start by understanding how you feel and why. The more you realize what’s going on inside, the more you will relax.
You will not fell the pressure to be perfect in your flirting technique. You have made a faux pas the last time you tried to flirt with a guy? Well you just wanted to text him because he’s cute.
Think about those guys who whistle you when they see of your cute behind. You are texting your cute guy for the same reason.
It’s just that you have more class.
Bottom line: there’s no reason to stand all much pressure, lady. Cindy Lauper is right. Just have fun.
Check the post What If I Never Find A Boyfriend? Dealing With Fear and get rid of fear now.
What’s in your head?
Here is why I’m not agreed with those who thing that there are too many limitations with text messages: you can put emotion in a message. Think about the last novel you have read. Do you remember how the author was dressed when you turned the last page? Do you know the tone of her voice? Probably no. Why?
Because you have created your own movie in your head, your own voices.
The man you text will for sure create a movie scenario in his. He will create a feminine voice as he read your message.
“But Jo”, you ask. “I don’t know what movie he will create in his mind. What can I do to…”
You can’t do anything. You will never control a human mind. Gurus have tried; dictators have tried. Always there was somebody who slipped thought their hands.
If you are concerned about his reaction, go back to the first section of this article. Slowly, you will realize that it’s just a game. In fact, you don’t need that guy you are texting to have fun. You create all the pleasure by yourself.
Hum… I should rephrase that sentence…
Now that you know that you should pay attention to your feelings, where do you start? Here are a few dos and don’ts.
Dos and don’ts
Emoji.
Emojis are just great. Here, I’m not really talking about putting one icon at the end of a message. Emojis are useful when you want to show how you feel without spending too much time. But there’s another reason why you should use Emojis.
I know a lot of women are asking:
“Should I answer back right away when he texts me?”
If you want to answer, use an Emoji. You will never look like needy girl when you use an icon. With this simple message, the man you want will not feel neglected. Better: when you text an emoji, you make him understand that the ball in now on his side.
He has to do the next move.
Walk away. For a couple of minutes…
If you feel that your emotions are a bit too overwhelming, walk away from your phone for a couple of minutes.
I know you, lady. When there’s a cute guy in the street, you turn your head to the opposite side just to pretend that you have not seen him. Well, do the same with your phone. Leave it on your kitchen table for a while. This is the best way to calm down, and to find the best answer to text him. He won’t mind. We, men, don’t answer right away to our friends (except if we are looking for them in a crown during a concert!). So just take it easy…
Check the post Find and seduce your man with text messages to know how to arouse a man with texts. Create images in his head.
Know when it’s too much…
Men don’t text like you, ladies. Most of us text to give or ask information. It could be from: “How’s your baby?” to “Hey, man. Have you heard about the Steelers’ last trade? It sucks!” When the exchange of information is done, it’s over.
Men complain that women have tendencies to write novels when they text. I suggest that you resist that urge until he becomes your boyfriend. Then you can text him a full report of all your day.
Do you have a question? Any comments? There’s a little white box below. Share your thoughts with us
Now you know all the basic of flirt flirting like crazy with a man via texting. You are ready.
Go! And find your amazing man
Love,
Jo Fontaine
XOXO
Hi Jo,
I was expecting a whole list of do’s and don’ts here. It seems like sending a emoji and walk away and not send a whole story are the only things I need to know before I start flirting over text. I’m sure there is more to it than that.
I wanted to add that for me and my boyfriend we started our first months long distance, so there was a lot of texting. It really improved our relationship a lot, because now he was more open in expressing his feelings. Thank god for smartphones!
Love, Nanda
I remember that my girlfriend and me used to text a lot at the beginning LOL. Thanx for your comment, JNanda! :o)
Wow, I am so old fashioned that I prefer to talk face to face with the person. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have confidence in just walking over to a cute guy and saying “hey what’s zup?”
I like to see his reaction, his body language, and if he likes me or just playing.
I like that human interaction and I’m like, get it over with and stop letting it linger. Hey if you like me you better come talk to me. lol
However, I’m taken. Hehehe
Thanks for your comment, kelyee. You know, people are more and more distant psychologically; the result is that they dread rejection. This is probably one of the reason of the success of flirting via text message. This is a technique that we will have to learn in the future, just like dating online. Btw, I wouldn’t call you old-fashioned. :0)
Wow, that’s a great post with excellent example of text messages. Flirty messages are very important to add spice in a relationship and also to make bond stronger between couples. Men like it when women try to be flirty with them. Even though most men don’t show it, such flirty texts from their loved ones will make them smile and he will instantly start missing you.