I will tell you the technique to get rid of the number 1 problem that stops you from finding your husband fast. I’ve seen some women getting engaged in only 30 days with that principle.
This technique is not a magical trick.
But it will make your research easier. It will make the process get faster and more enjoyable.
See, to make things go faster, you only have two options:
• You can try to provoke things by doing more.
• You can start to remove what is slowing you down.
Today, we are going to talk about what is slowing you down.
“Love can only be found though the act of loving”- Paulo Coelho
Yes, you have agenda. It’s normal. You want to be married, right? Maybe you think about it all the time.
“Time is running by. All my friends are engaged.”
When you meet a guy, the first thing that comes to your mind is this:
“Is that man is a good man to marry? Can he be a good father for my children?”
Unconsciously, you analyze him. You start to make a two part list. You look for the positive and the negative in him.
It’s like you are trying to figure out if he’s on the bright or on the dark side of the force…
But the man feels it… Somehow, he knows.
So he starts to keep his distance. Here’s why.
“The loveless never find love. Only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it.”- D.H Lawrence.
Imagine. You are in a bar. A guy approaches you. He’s good-looking. But a bell rings in your head.
“Uh, uh… this man is looking for only one thing”.
You know what I mean?
You don’t even listen to his opening line.
Gee, how many times you have heard that lousy pick-up technique? Maybe he has practiced it for hours in front of a mirror hoping that it will get you in his bed…
“Yeah… I just want to finish my drink. Keep on walking, you say….”
What happened here? Well, you have felt what was going on.
You know when a man just wants to have sex with you. You can feel that vibe a mile away. You can read his gesture, the way he looks at you.
He pretends that he’s interested in you. But in reality, he wants to get something.
It just happens that you have what he wants. But it could be anybody else. It doesn’t matter….
What you have seen is the agenda behind the approach…
A lot of men have an agenda. Women have their own. Here is the truth for both sides: most people hate being caught in agendas…
How men think
When you meet a man and already have in mind the wedding, the first baby, and the house, he will for sure feel it; He will step back.
And that’s especially true for good guys.
A good guy will keep his distance. He will say to himself:
“She doesn’t care about me at all. All she wants is to get married, to start a family. It just happens that I’m available.”
“She doesn’t want to know more about me: me or somebody else; it doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t get in that trap, dude. Keep your distance!”
Men prefer to hide to themselves the two first reactions. This is a male thing. Most of us do not like to express our vulnerability. Not even to ourselves.
But the third one will hit any man like a thunderbolt…
Put aside what you want to get what you want.
“You don’t have to go looking for love when it’s where you come from”- Werner Erhared
Realize that it’s very important to focus on the moment when you date a man for the first time. Do not only think about what you want when you meet him.
Here is an acid test. Observe the way you behave as you are talking to him. Are you looking for some common interest so you will have some great ideas for the next date? Are you interested to discover more about what he likes?
Or do you just gather information to evaluate him?
Yes, you don’t have time to spend with losers. You are fed up with guys who do not want to have a serious relationship.
You want to screen out the assholes. Fast.
I hear you.
But by doing so, you will put aside many good men. This is one of the major reason why most women have problem to find the right one and get married. Most good guys don’t make a lot of noise. It seems that they almost hide themselves.
But what can you do?
The solution is to enjoy the process as much as you can. Make the decision to have fun looking for your man. Try to learn more about the guy you are talking to. Oh, he’s a musician? Really? What style of music he plays?
Maybe he’s a doctor. Why that decision? Maybe being a doctor is in his family’s DNA? Do you have a nurse in your own family?
I want to make myself clear, here: you do not need to put aside your goal as you are dating a man for the first time. But since you already how it feels when someone is not really interested in you but only wants something that you have, keep this simple truth in mind: men are no different.
You want to find a man to marry fast? Leave the agenda for a while. Or at least, tone it down at the beginning.
Agenda is surely effective to make the scumbags vanish into thin air.
But you can make the good man run away from you.
And you will have to wait again.
The best way to hide your agenda is to enjoy the moment you have with him. Learn more about him. Find some common interests.
You will have plenty of time to talk about more serious stuff latter on if that man is a good candidate to be your future husband.
Now you know how important it is to “seize the moment” when dating. Carpe diem, they says, right?
Now, go! And find your amazing man.