This article is about one big reason why you can’t get a boyfriend yet: insecurity. This state of mind affects deeply your behaviors, attitude. It’s express itself when you think, deep inside, that you are not enough to merit the appreciation of the others. You think that you are inadequate for the task that you wish to perform. This problem can be very tricky. It can ruin your love life without being noticed. You need to know if you are insecure because this is the first step to get rid of that trouble.
Here are a few points to know if you are insecure.
Related article: To learn how to get rid of self-doubt, read the article I can’t find a boyfriend -Destroy your doubt.
You avoid contact.
This is a typical aspect of your body language when you are insecure: you do not like to watch people in the eyes. For that reason, some people think that you are a bit snob. This is the kind of judgement insecurity creates: if you do not look in the eyes, it means that you are trying to hide something; or you think that you are better than everybody else.
Another typical habit: You always try to leave the first in a meeting or when you have a date. Personally, it took me a while to realize that insecurity was the reason why my mother always wanted to leave fast a family reunion or in an evening. A last aspect of the fear to connect with the other is that you are always the first to hang up the phone.
But this fear can lead to some severe consequence in your love life. Insecure people tend to end up their relationship first. You don’t want that your boyfriend break up with you. Well, the solution is to break up first!
Even if things are going pretty well…
Try to look at your love life. Do you tend to sabotage your relationships?
Related article: To learn how to approach men, read the article 4 tips to attract a man now.
Worries, worries, worries…
When it starts, it never stops. You just have met the guy. Hundreds of questions pop up in your mind. You are worried about everything.
“Did I say something wrong? He said this… What did he mean? How was my makeup, my hair? Too much? Not enough? Oh, my God… Hope he’s not married. I would never date a cheater. But if he’s single, did I say the right things? Why am I the only woman who doesn’t have a damn clue about flirting?”
Of course, you can find yourself in this state of mind once in a while. You are insecure if this is your general state of mind when you date someone.
Push away, and they pull back in
Insecure people do not want to get hurt. So they often push away those who want to get closer to them. An insecure woman will be a real puzzle for a man. Some guys will try to clear up the mystery; most of them will fail. The others will simply walk away. This is when an insecure lady will realize her mistake. She will try to pull back her man in her life. Sometime, it will work. Sometime, it won’t.
Insecurity must be everywhere…
Usually, insecure people do not want to be the only person suffering in the room. So usually, they will try to share their insecurity and mess up the other’s people mind.
A lady told me recently that a woman, worried to die alone, said to her:
“What? You are still looking for a husband? But aren’t you worried about your age? Soon you will be too old to have children.”
This is typical. Insecurity must be everywhere, according to the worried people.
Related article: To learn how to stop being influenced by negative people and how deal with the fear of being alone, read the article help me get a boyfriend. First, get rid of that person.
Can’t take a compliment, Can’t see what’s good
Do you put yourself down often? Do you have problem to accept a compliment? Insecure people just can’t take a good word. How many times have you said something like that?
“You say I’m beautiful only because you are a sweet person…”
Yesterday, I was watching a rap battle. A professional rapper was standing in front of a stand up comedian with a low self-esteem. They were supposed to roast each other. The comedian putted himself down so badly that the rapper didn’t know what to say. The job was already done.
Man… It was sad…
This is not the answer I want to hear…
Insecurity is like being deaf. You never hear the answer that is given. Even if it’s the answer you hear is once you are waiting for… Insecure people cannot accept an answer. That’s why they are asking the same question over and over.
Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
Are you thinking about somebody, right now?
Until now, we have talked about one type of insecure personality. That person thinks that she has nothing interesting to offer to anyone. This trouble of the personality can be called inferiority complex. But some men and women will try to over compensate that lack of energy.
Oh, for sure, they get hurt easily like all the insecure people. But they will seek for revenge. And lord! it will happen fast. They will hit hard. Too hard. They get a little slap on the hand, and they will get their bazooka.
How do you react when you feel hurt?
A lot of insecure people are control freaks. Since they are scared to death that something happens, they will try to control their date, their spouse, and all the activities they make. They want to control what the other say, how they think. Do you try to control everything pretending that you want that everything is perfect?
Striving for superiority
Some people go too far to over compensate their insecurity. They want to hide their fear so bad that they will oppress everybody around them. If they can make someone unhappy, they are happy.
Here is their logic: “I make people sweat, therefore I exist.”
This type of insecure person is a “disagree machine”. No wonder that this they have problems to have a healthy relationship.
This article is not about how to get rid of insecurity: the hardest is to identify the problem.
Very often, an insecure person will use those lines: “this is reality”. “That’s how it goes today”. Some people will play the tough card and will want to show how strong they are. But they can be broken in a snap of fingers.
Once you have accepted that you are insecure, you will be able to create a plan to have an easier life.
Now you know that being scared of everything or bragging about how tough will get you nowhere.
Take care of yourself. And find that amazing man.