The step #1
Do you remember? In the last article (why can’t i get a boyfriend: 2 reasons and the solutions),I have talk to you fear. That emotion can totally ruin you chance to meet the man you want. It doesn’t matter how many times you will say “God, help me get a boyfriend“, fear can be a nuisance in the most subtle way.
I mean, you really don’t see it coming. Worst. You don’t even see all the damage it cause.
That why you keep doing the same mistake over and over…
Related article: what if i never find a boyfriend? Dealing with fear
Christina is not her real name. She is the only shy Latina I know and I don’t want to make her blush. So here we are in the bus last Saturday.
“Jo, I have something for your blog. You know, the last single even I was invited?”
I smile. That story will be fascinating. I feel it.
“I’m listening”, I simply say.
Now she starts her story in her girly Latina style. You know, with all her hands waving. :0)
A funny table. Until…
So here is her story. The evening starts pretty well. The restaurant is a perfect choice. Christina is at a table with to her right an Iranian woman in her mid-40s and three men in the 30s. The one with the red shirt is particularly cute. Now, Christina knows the danger to start on a heavy subject like how it’s difficult to find love in the 21st century. So she starts right away to talk about a funny subject.
“Hey guys what is the craziest reason you have said to get rid of a date.”
No doubt, of all the places in the restaurant, Christina’s table is the funniest. Everybody is laughing.
“My date was so boring that after 45 minutes, I said that I had to leave. I had to wash my hair”, says Christina, trying to catch her breath.
Yeah, that evening is going to great, she thinks.
And here comes those 2 ladies. Hugh…
How to ruin an evening
There are 2 empty chairs near Christina. That is where those 2 women will sit.
And ruin the great atmosphere everybody enjoyed.
The youngest of the 2 ladies is a Poland. It’s easy to notice that she’s the follower. The other is an about 5 years older. Born in Algeria, she’s the one who like to be the leader. She starts to talk about her job. She says like marketing is vital for businesses who want to grow.
Look like she’s as a lot of problems to read faces. Everybody is bored.
The Iranian woman finally decides to leave the table.
The friend just can’t stop talking about things that no one cares. No doubt, that lady needs a copy of the Ebook conversation chemistry to learn how to make the best first contact with the people (and especially with men). Sadly, because of her, the party is over. Then she starts to talk about how hard it is to find a man. Yes, it is more and more difficult to find a decent man in this damn 21st century…
Her friend, who was silent, starts to approve her remarks.
The 3 of the men are fed up; they leave the table.
15 minutes later, Christina can’t stand it anymore. She pretends that she has to wash her hair…
Related article: the dating survival kit.
After the evening
People are leaving the restaurant. Some people have met a potential; others have not. Near the door, Christina talks to the Iranian woman. She asks her why she left the table. Was that because of the two women who broke the ambience?
“Not really, the woman answers. I just did not want to be nuisance to the young woman. There was something going on between her and the guy in the red t-shirt”.
“Yeah, I have noticed it. She really had a chance with that man. It’s sad that her friend totally ruined everything”.
The bottom line of this story is this: you want some help to find a boyfriend or a husband? Start by refusing the help of those people who are holding you back.
Conclusion: “No thank you”
My theory is that the young lady is almost as shy as Christina. She just can’t go to an evening alone so she invited her single friend to come with her. Obviously, the friend was not very interested to be there. Sadly, she did not act like a friend.
Now, I’m not saying that she is a bad person. Most friends who are giving you bad advice or are discouraging you do care about you. It’s just that they just have issues just like you. They are scarred to be alone all their life too. The thing is that you can’t let other people problems get in your way: you already have your own amount of problems.
Take a hard look to see how many time people around you are making comment that make you lose your focus. How many times do you hear that your goal is almost unreachable “in this 21st century”?
No, all good men are not taken.
No, it’s not too old to have kids if you are 35 years old (the age my mom got me, the first of the family).
No, things were not easier back in the days. People had to get married fast because of the social pressure. So, many were married with the wrong person.
It’s like comparing apples and oranges.
React when your friends are not helping you at all. I’m not saying that you should stop seeing them. If they try to discourage you (even if it’s involuntarily) try to change the subject. If he or she doesn’t get it, say firmly but with love (hey, that person is your friend):
“I don’t want to talk about that subject”.
Do you have any question? Any comments? Please share your thoughts with us. There is a little white box just below.
Now you know that you will have to pay attention to the vibration you get around you. That energy may be exactly what you are looking for. Or it can pump out all the joy you have inside.
And you need it to find your man (more about that in the article 5 signs that show that you are ready to find a boyfriend)
Go and him!