What? Oh, you have found a man that could be just right for you. Great! But you know that you should try to keep your feet on the ground, right? Even if that cutty could not only be your perfect boyfriend: he could be the right husband you are looking for!
“ Jo, I want him to commit to me. What do I do, what do I do?”
Let’s start Googling a bit.
So you open your laptop. Anyway, that’s what we usually do when you have time: you try to find new ideas on how to find a new life partner. It’s all right. You find a lot of advice about what you should do to make that man commit to you. Many of those advices are good ones. But there’s something that most article will not say.
For men, the don’ts are more important that the do’s. Just like for women, the do’s are more important that the don’ts…
Don’t do this, please
“Love is like a cloud. Holds a lot of rain” Love hurts-Nazareth
It’s not necessary to go that far, Nazareth! Yes, sometimes, you will get hurt in a relation. The odd are good that you hurt someone too. But it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do your best to avoid those kinds of situations. It can totally change the quantity of your relation with men.
Here are some of the most common situations that men dread. They literately get paralyzed just thinking about them. So let’s go fast on the don’ts list. AKA, the list of fear.
I don’t say that nagging is wrong. Some things have to be done in the house. There is a lot of stuffs that need to be cared of. But we, men, have a very profound tendency (of course in all case, there are exceptions). We tend to act when we want to and not when necessarily when we “have to”. Have you noticed that I put “have to” between quotation marks? It’s because many of those “have to” are not even close to emergency. So, for that, men are right about that….
But very soon, they can become an emergency. So women are right about that too…
But you know what? It doesn’t matter who’s right. A lot of men ask themselves this question.
“If I marry her, will I live that kind of miserable life?”
is the main obstacle that you will face. I know it’s unfair because
he’s supposed to love you. I’m sure he does. Most of the time that fear comes from deep inside, it’s based on this miscalculation:
It’s happening to my colleague; it happened to dad; it happened to the neighbor. So it will happen to me too.
A lot of men are criticizing too. I’ve heard real horror stories… just like I said in the article 2 ways to get your man to commit to marry you, your boyfirend is not your project. A lot of women think that criticizing is
a sign of affection. You want his to eat better; you want him to dress
better. You want him to have better friend because they will put him in
trouble soon or later.
And you are probably right.
But on his side, he feels that you don’t respect him. This is what he is. This is what he likes.
For sure, he will not see in those critics a sign that you care. He
will think that you have no esteem for his opinion, his ideas, and his
way of doing things.
“Why did she choose me in the first place?”
I heard that one yesterday on my favorite sport channel. I laughed for about haft and hour.
Radio host: “Man, how can you watch 3 NFL games in the row….”
The 26 years old co-host: “Well, it’s quite simple. I don’t have kids yet and I don’t have a girlfriend.”
Radio host: “Oh … I see”
The 26 years old co-host: “Living the dream or get a girl”
Of course, it was a sad joke: 2 weeks ago, I’ve heard the young man saying that being alone is a drag. There
is something useful in this stupid saying: it shows what men are scared
off. The last fear that we will talk about is one: seeing their vital space getting smaller and smaller. Their last refuge will be their garage: the only place where they can make a decision without the risk of getting a drama. The hammer will go there; the drill here…
Again, it doesn’t really matter if that fear as a reason to exist or not. The felling is just there. So what can you do about it?
That with this one.
Now you know that those fears are not rational (in fact, most fears are irrational). So having a talk with your man will not necessary help. Well, let’s say that this is not the first step to solve the problem.
The best move you can make is doing something for yourself. Get a pleasant life, promote a more pleasant life to your man. Here’s how this idea works.
Keep your passion alive. Better create new one. Do not neglect your girlfriends. Continue to organize activities with them. Of course, you still love your man. Do not forget to go back to your copy of the eBook Get a Great Guy to find some fantastic ideas to create quality time with him.
Look at his passion. Let him know that a passion is important and you support him. You know what how it feels when you love what you are doing.
It’s been a while that he has seen his best friend? Ask him why. Can you do something to help him?
“Call him baby. I’ll make you some sandwiches. You will be alone tonight; I’ll go to my yoga class”.
Create some place for you and you will create some space for him. And one day, the question will pop out:
“Where we at?”
“I think it’s about time that I got time alone with you” Time-Prince
is a good chance that you will see all the math symbols rolling in his
eyes. The calculation seems complicated. Good sign…
Listen… you can hear the gear rolling. Oh, he’s thinking hard. Here are the kind of thoughts he may have.
“Never thought about but it sounds good. She’s great! I don’t feel like I’m in jail with her. Never thought it would happen… “
Lady, you win!
“I’m not sure. But man! She’s so different. I can’t afford to lose a girl like that….”
Lady, you win!
But what if he still doesn’t want to commit? Well there are some people refuse to be engaged in a relationship for philosophical
reasons. I will not talk about those persons since, usually, they speak
their mind since the beginning. They are against marriage, against
exclusivity, period. Those men (and women too) will not lie to you. The
only mistake you can make is to believe they will change their mind.
Some guys are too broken. They are too deep in their
fear. In that case, the man you love really have feeling for you. But he
will need too much energy to overcome his fear. For now, he just can’t say yes…
All you can do is wait a bit more if you can. Or leave…
you know that the best way to get a man to commit to you is to live and
let live. Have a pleasant life. Promote a great life.
Do you have a question, a comment? Please share what you think about this article in the little box just below.
Now go! And find your amazing man.