Why can’t I find a boyfriend
“Have you found a boyfriend yet?”
Ugh… That question is so annoying. It just makes you think that maybe you should stop looking for a boyfriend (at least for a while). Your friends ask you that question so many times! You start to think that maybe they don’t love you that much after all. Real friends don’t try to hurt people they love, right?
So this is how, slowly, you try to put some distance between you and your friends. What? You just got a phone call saying that your girls squad will get together at your favorite restaurant, Saturday, 5 O’clock? Here you are already looking for an excuse to not joint them. If you do not see them, you will not have to answer to their questions.
Hum… with that solution, you know that you will eventually start to feel lonely. It’s not a good idea after all…
Your girls gang forever!
I don’t want to hear it…
Of course, another solution is to openly say that you do not what to hear that question anymore. But this option may sound harsh to you. You love your friends, don’t you? Here’s what you can say to soften your words and, at the same time, make your message clear:
“I have decided to stop looking for a man. I will take care of the people I love and my family”.
In the article Dating: why taking a break may be your option , I have talk about the idea of taking a break. Yes, it may be the right option for you. But it doesn’t mean that you really have to stop looking. In your head, it just means that you keep your door opened for love. But you have other priorities. You are working on other projects that you are passionate about. In other words, the expression looking without looking is just right for you.
“OK Jo… But how do you do that? I mean, I’m really fed up. How can I keep my motivation and keep my eyes open for love?”
Today, I will not talk about motivation so to speak. I will share with you 3 reasons why you shouldn’t stop looking for your love.
Reason #1: Time to get on the fast track
“Do you think you can make your heart stop to love?” – A friend of mine
“Love is the pursuit of the whole”- Plato
Love is not only about finding someone to fulfill your desire to be loved. Love is like a magnifying mirror. Sure, being with someone will make all kind of emotions go about the water. You will find your insecurities, what you really hope deep in your heart, what you fear. But you will find the best of you too. This will be the best moment to take a good look at yourself and see the beautiful-you. Now, what can you do to feel even better. What is your plan to create an even better you? Of course, love is not mandatory to build oneself. But as Plato would say, if there are two fast tracks to create a pleasant you, it would be Beauty and Love. See it as having a pleasant life by enjoying what is beautiful around you and inside of you as you live with your man.
Reason #2: Maybe it’s not because of what they say…
“It’s because you are too picky”, says one of your friend.
If you are like one of my very good friends, this is not the reason why you have not found your man yet. The fact that you are still single means that you have not found the right man for you. That’s all. See, most men and women choose a life partner only to get rid of that feeling of being alone. They just can’t stand it. Sure, loneliness is not the most beautiful emotion that exists on earth. But maybe that, in some ways, you think that waiting a bit longer to find the right man ( the one who has just the right personality and the right values) for you is something that you are willing to do. Think about it. Maybe you have lost the big picture today. Maybe you feel bad because your goal is out of sight: you want is to find a man that is just right for you. Not just a boyfriend. So remember that you are still looking because you use your head instead of only your emotions. I know, it doesn’t sound that romantic. But getting in a difficult breakout a year later because you have not made the right choice isn’t a romantic moment either!
That been said, like I say in the article Find A Perfect Boyfriend Online if you have that typical long list of qualities in your pocket and are looking for a perfect man (I mean that has no flaws at all but all the qualities in the word), maybe you are too picky…
Reason #3: Time is an illusion…
“I think I’m running out of patience” Time –Prince.
The reason #3 is the following of the reason #2. And yes, I can hear you, lady. You are saying:
“Time is an illusion? W-what? What are you talking about, Jo”.
It means that according to your expectation and your state of mind, you will evaluate time that have pasted by differently.
Now, here you are talking with your best friend around a cup of tea. It’s been a while that you have broken up and you are ready to start a new love story again. But it seems that no man want to be a part of that beautiful play(at least for now). You are getting impatient. You feel that time is your worst enemy.
Have you waited a long time for something that you really wanted before? It can be a toy when you were a child, or a new promotion. You thought that it would take hundreds years before get what you wanted.
But one day, it happens.
What you want just appeares right in front of you. And that gift is for you actually. You just thought that it was over and now you say
“It was worth it. Waiting that long was terrible but it was worth it…”
Would you do it again? For sure! Look how time is different now! You start to smile thinking about those moments when you felt insecure. Yes it was terrible. But you can’t help it: you start to feel that it wasn’t that bad.
Something has changed.
It’s like time has shrunk in some way. This is exactly how you will feel when you will find your man. Time, as you experience it, is created by your mind and your emotions. At any moment you can change your emotions and make a year feel like a month, and vice versa.
Do not be discouraged thinking about the month or years that you have been alone. It’s how you feel that determine the weight of the months and the years.
Start right away thinking about how you will feel once you will be in the arms of your sweetie.
A day can be like a thousand years for a human too…
Do you have any question? Any comments? Please, write them in the little box below.
Now you know that you don’t have to give up on your dreams.
Keep up dreaming. And go!
Find your amazing man.