Blog | The Right Husband

Why can’t I find a boyfriend

“Have you found a boyfriend yet?”

Ugh… That question is so annoying. It just makes you think that maybe you should stop looking for a boyfriend (at least for a while). Your friends ask you that question so many times! You start to think that maybe they don’t love you that much after all. Real friends don’t try to hurt people they love, right?

So this is how, slowly, you try to put some distance between you and your friends. What? You just got a phone call saying that your girls squad will get together at your favorite restaurant, Saturday, 5 O’clock? Here you are already looking for an excuse to not joint them. If you do not see them, you will not have to answer to their questions.

Hum… with that solution, you know that you will eventually start to feel lonely. It’s not a good idea after all…

Your girls gang forever!

I don’t want to hear it…

Of course, another solution is to openly say that you do not what to hear that question anymore. But this option may sound harsh to you. You love your friends, don’t you? Here’s what you can say to soften your words and, at the same time, make your message clear:

“I have decided to stop looking for a man. I will take care of the people I love and my family”.

In the article Dating: why taking a break may be your option , I have talk about the idea of taking a break. Yes, it may be the right option for you. But it doesn’t mean that you really have to stop looking. In your head, it just means that you keep your door opened for love. But you have other priorities. You are working on other projects that you are passionate about. In other words, the expression looking without looking is just right for you.

“OK Jo… But how do you do that? I mean, I’m really fed up. How can I keep my motivation and keep my eyes open for love?”

Today, I will not talk about motivation so to speak. I will share with you 3 reasons why you shouldn’t stop looking for your love.

Reason #1: Time to get on the fast track

“Do you think you can make your heart stop to love?” – A friend of mine

“Love is the pursuit of the whole”- Plato

Love is not only about finding someone to fulfill your desire to be loved. Love is like a magnifying mirror. Sure, being with someone will make all kind of emotions go about the water. You will find your insecurities, what you really hope deep in your heart, what you fear. But you will find the best of you too. This will be the best moment to take a good look at yourself and see the beautiful-you. Now, what can you do to feel even better. What is your plan to create an even better you? Of course, love is not mandatory to build oneself. But as Plato would say, if there are two fast tracks to create a pleasant you, it would be Beauty and Love. See it as having a pleasant life by enjoying what is beautiful around you and inside of you as you live with your man.

Reason #2: Maybe it’s not because of what they say…

“It’s because you are too picky”, says one of your friend.

If you are like one of my very good friends, this is not the reason why you have not found your man yet. The fact that you are still single means that you have not found the right man for you. That’s all. See, most men and women choose a life partner only to get rid of that feeling of being alone. They just can’t stand it. Sure, loneliness is not the most beautiful emotion that exists on earth. But maybe that, in some ways, you think that waiting a bit longer to find the right man ( the one who has just the right personality and the right values) for you is something that you are willing to do. Think about it. Maybe you have lost the big picture today. Maybe you feel bad because your goal is out of sight: you want is to find a man that is just right for you. Not just a boyfriend. So remember that you are still looking because you use your head instead of only your emotions. I know, it doesn’t sound that romantic. But getting in a difficult breakout a year later because you have not made the right choice isn’t a romantic moment either!

That been said, like I say in the article Find A Perfect Boyfriend Online if you have that typical long list of qualities in your pocket and are looking for a perfect man (I mean that has no flaws at all but all the qualities in the word), maybe you are too picky…

Reason #3: Time is an illusion…

“I think I’m running out of patience” Time –Prince.

The reason #3 is the following of the reason #2. And yes, I can hear you, lady. You are saying:

“Time is an illusion? W-what? What are you talking about, Jo”.

It means that according to your expectation and your state of mind, you will evaluate time that have pasted by differently.

Now, here you are talking with your best friend around a cup of tea. It’s been a while that you have broken up and you are ready to start a new love story again. But it seems that no man want to be a part of that beautiful play(at least for now). You are getting impatient. You feel that time is your worst enemy.

Have you waited a long time for something that you really wanted before? It can be a toy when you were a child, or a new promotion. You thought that it would take hundreds years before get what you wanted.

But one day, it happens.

What you want just appeares right in front of you. And that gift is for you actually. You just thought that it was over and now you say

“It was worth it. Waiting that long was terrible but it was worth it…”

Would you do it again? For sure! Look how time is different now! You start to smile thinking about those moments when you felt insecure. Yes it was terrible. But you can’t help it: you start to feel that it wasn’t that bad.

Something has changed.

It’s like time has shrunk in some way. This is exactly how you will feel when you will find your man. Time, as you experience it, is created by your mind and your emotions. At any moment you can change your emotions and make a year feel like a month, and vice versa.

Do not be discouraged thinking about the month or years that you have been alone. It’s how you feel that determine the weight of the months and the years.

Start right away thinking about how you will feel once you will be in the arms of your sweetie.

A day can be like a thousand years for a human too…

Do you have any question? Any comments? Please, write them in the little box below.

Now you know that you don’t have to give up on your dreams.

Keep up dreaming. And go!

Find your amazing man.

Love,

Jo Fontaine

XOXO.

Love, love, love…

If you want to know how to find a foreign husband, go the web. You will read or hear many complaints that sound like this: do not marry foreign people. The man that you will find will not love you. He will love the country where you live in. And once he’s legal, he will dump you. You will find the same comments on the men side. The Russian woman you marry will never care about you. She just wants to be in America.

As you read this article you will learn how to manage all those ricks, how to find a husband coming from another culture. You will learn how to deal with the problem that comes with the clashes of different of cultures.
“I love different cultures and philosophies and perspective on things”-Martin Henderson

How to find a foreign husband

Go where they are.

Do you have an idea of where your soon-to-be husband will come from? Well to start, you can go and visit his country. You will be able to feel the rhythm of the culture. Now this is the usual advice that you will hear.

But you can do better.

Taking a peek is just the beginning of your research. But you are looking for real love, don’t you? Are you looking for a long-term relationship? In that case, you will not only look for a foreign husband. You will have to find for the right one.

So, let’s say that you have chosen the country where your man lives. You have visited the place for a week and you have felt that your intuition is right.

Now, how about living there for 4-6 months

“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other places, other lives, other souls”- Anais Nin

Sebastian, my friend.

This is the technique Sebastian, one of my friends, used to find his second wife. Men and women can follow this idea. Sebastian is Canadian. But he has always felt that he was made to live in a country where the sun is king. He likes the Caribbean way of living. Most of his friends are Brazilian, Haitians, and African.

With his Andy Garcia look, I thought that he was Cuban or Portuguese at first!

6 months after he has left to live in Brazil, here we learn that he got married! Nobody was very surprised. Seb knows how to put all the chances on his side.

He learned how to speak Brazilian Portuguese
He emerged himself in the Brazilian community in his own town.
He started visiting the country on vacation
He decides to live there for a bit more than 6 months

6 month is too much? Is that an impossible plan for you? I understand. But can you live in that country for at least 3 months Visiting the country for only 4 weeks is not enough to really feel the rhythm of the culture in your bones.
How to find a foreign husband

Ask your family living abroad.

Yes, an idea for you that may be a simple solution.

Do you have a brother, a cousin living in Europe, in Asia or in Africa?

That person knows you well. He (she) knows your taste, your preferences. Let that person be your matchmaker!

Ask if they have anyone in mind. I mean a sweet and respectful man that matches with your personality and your lifestyle. I would suggest you to take your time to really think about that solution. As I write those words, I just got a notice on Facebook. My cousin’s wife says:

“Hi, what’s up, cousin?”

She is a sweet and beautiful Thai woman. I have just realized that, she could be my ideal matchmaker if, one day, I want to date an Asian woman. I never thought about that. Maybe you are missing that point too…

Foreign is sometimes nearby your house.

“There is something inspirational about New York as a great melting pot of different cultures and traditions”.-Ban Ki-moon

In some ways, it is true for most cities.

Start by stepping out of your comfort zone now. Socialize with people of other nationalities. They will show you a lot about their culture, the way they think. Maybe you will even lean their language and practice with them. This is one of the best ways to soak your feet in the water. Go to their parties when they invite you. Do not be shy. That’s how my girlfriend met me. She was a bit disoriented at the beginning. The music, the dance, the food was totally different from her culture. Worst. She is very, very shy… So if she has done it, you certainly can!
How to find a foreign husband

The web

This is the technique that the people I know used last. Yes, the web is good place to start your research. They are a lot of dating sites. But again, a dating site is a bit impersonal. You can’t have a real contact with the man. You will not learn much about his culture. But this method can work. Many women have found their perfect husband using dating sites. Realize that you will just have to look harder if you want to find a man that will be right for you. Please, just remember: make yourself visible and approachable. On your profile, do not complain about how it’s difficult to find a man and how you are exhausted dating losers…

Good luck!

Love

XXXX

Jo Fontaine