September, 2020 | The Right Husband

You may have said recently: “will I ever get a boyfriend“?

This article is about how to deal with that frustration and the anxiety to be left alone for ever.

Specialists see anxiety as “the emotion of fearful apprehension”. In some way, it can be summarized like this:

“I don’t know exactly what is the problem. And if I knew, I wouldn’t know what to do”…

Philosopher have talk about that state of mind for centuries. They have suggested some reason of that disorder and proposed solutions.

I will, here, propose some ideas to fight frustration and anxiety as you are still looking for the right one. Here we go.

Related article: What If I Never Find A Boyfriend? Dealing With Fear.

Know the signs of anxiety

Anxiety is not “just in your head”. It’s a real medical experience just as physical disorder. In fact, according to Anxiety and Depression Association of America, it’s the most common mental disorder in the United States.

In other words, you are not “crazy” because you are anxious to be left alone for ever.

There are signs that shows that you are suffering from an anxiety disorder.

Are you constantly worrying about your love life to the point that it interfere in your daily life?
Do you avoid socializing because you do not want to be left alone or embarrassed?
Do you have some kind of panic attacks about your love life? Are preoccupied about next one?
Do you have flashbacks of a dramatic experience that happened several months or years ago?

Another sign of anxiety is you seem to be always tired. Think about the last time you had a moment with your friends in a restaurant. Are you mentally absent most of the time?

Over-planning everything is a sign of anxiety. You want to control everything around you but, deep inside, you realize that it’s impossible.

Now that you have recognized the signs, let’s see what you can do to manage your amount of anxiety to be left alone. Here, I will not talk about medical solution. Please, consult a doctor or a therapist if you believe that you need that type of help.

Do not be shy to ask for help.

#1 Breathing exercises (with a little twist).

Breathing exercises are well known as an excellent exercise to release the pressure. But, in really, those exercises are great because they help you get the habit of being in the present moment. In fact, studies have shown that mindfulness exercises can create positive brain changes.

There’s no need to practice breathing exercises at home if you find this activity boring. A good way to add some “spice” to your routine is to simply practice it outside. I love to take the time to breathe in a park just walking or lying on the grass. The trees, the sky (and even the moon) have a relaxing virtue. Their presence will help you to slow down your thoughts as you breathe calmly. No need to use any “mantras” or to count from 1 to 5 as you inhale and exhale. Just admire the sky or the stars. Hear the wind getting between the tree branches. Hear the leaves softly shaking.

Have you noticed how great the nature sounds?

#2 Take notes

Having a journal can have a positive effect on your health and your state of mind. It will help you gain some distance, and clarity so you can understand your thoughts and situation better.

Every day, observe your thoughts, your non-verbal language. It’s that simple. As you are writing in your notepad, you will eventually notice some patterns.

Very soon, you will realize that you are not your emotions, your anxiety. You are more than that. I know a man who has started to time his worrying moment! He was sometime very depressed and anxious about his love life: he could not find a girlfriend. He simply started to put some numbers on his fears, as if they were laboratory rats. That’s how he started to take some distance with his anxieties.

It’s impressive.

The bottom line is this: observe, analyze. Be an analyst of yourself. You will soon start to feel better.

Related article: to know more about the inner talk, read the article: Make a man crazy about you by respecting yourself.

#3 Focus on what you can control.

The more you observe your emotions, the more you will start to understand them. At this point, you will have the opportunity to focus on things that you can control.

Let’s take this example. You have not found a man yet. But, deep inside, you are worried about a possible betrayal that you may experience with your future boyfriend. After all, this is what happened to your friend, right?

This is the essence of anxiety. A projection towards the future, about something that you can’t control.

Lies, betrayals do exist. It may happen to you in the future. Or not.

But no matter how hard you try, you will never control the future; it simply doesn’t belong to you.

The solution is to focus on is your present. The first step is to accept the fact that you are anxious about something that you can‘t control. Let your consciousness penetrate your emotions. Observe them. This is the perfect moment to start to spot the lies that your emotions shovel in your love life. You can now realize that:

No one has the power to control the future.
You can change your attitude about your love life.

Related article: to know more about the art of observing your emotions, read the article How To Mend My Broken Heart? 2 solutions To Help You Feel Better.

Conclusion

In conclusion, remember that being proactive will always be the best solution to get rid of the anxiety of being alone forever. Being anxious is by essence a passive attitude.

Observe, think and make the decision to live in the present.

Do you have any question? Any comments? There’s a little white box below just for you. I’ll be more than happy to read your ideas?

Love,

Jo Fontaine.

In this article, I will talk about 5 tips that will help you find a boyfriend. All those techniques have been test proofed with time and described by many experts.

According to an ethological study (Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1975), body language in flirting and courtship indicate that there may be a universal nonverbal system (if you want to know more about this, I will give you, below, the link of an article from The National Library of Medicine website).

It means that some facial express, gesture, posture can affect men, no matter his origin, ethnic or social background.

This is what makes nonverbal communication so powerful. You cannot neglect such a weapon.

Use it or it will be turned against you.

Luckily, those tools are fun to play with. They can create the positive effect of your love life, if well-used.

But first let’s talk about an old principle in dating that is present today. Here we go!

Cute and gracious

See flirting like a dance. Recent research suggests that our body are sensitive to the variation of the movements with a partner. Nothing new here!

But the qualities men are looking for in a partner are almost the same that they are craving for in a live partner.

It’s not surprising that two main qualities can literally drive a man crazy about you. I will resume those characteristics by two words: cute and gracious.

Some tendencies are still present in our psyche. An old instinct needs time to modify itself; our modern society is too recent to create new courtship instincts. In other words,

Women are still looking for knights.
Men are still looking for gracious women. Most of them want to be knights in some ways.

I have said in a previous article that one of the fastest way to make a man yours is to play the “cute card”. This is the best way to hit the two targets with one bullet (to learn more about the art of being cute, read the article How to find the perfect mate. Be irresistible).

But remember. Being cute is not being weak.

Looking for a knight is not playing the helpless princess.

Think about Deb Morgan form the popular TV show Dexter. She’s cute and vulnerable. But no doubt, she’s a strong woman: she’s a law enforcement officer.

Here are some gracious and cute universal gestures that will help you seduce the man you want.

#1.Your Smile and your voice.

Yes, I know you have heard that one. But sometime sometimes well-known advice are popular because they are just common sense.

A smile and a warm voice can do miracle separated. Together, they are irresistible.

You want to learn how to change the intonation of voice. But don’t make it sound too much like singing. Your goal is to find your cute and sexy voice.

Here are 2 types of voices to illustrate my point. Maybe they can inspire you to find your own voice. Take your time to study them.

Marion Cotillard

Helen Mirren

#2 Coy

What does coy means?

It means artfully shy or hesitant.

You pretend to be shy but in a funny, coquettish way.

Coy is a technique that creates in a man the desire to protect. If doesn’t matter if you need or don’t need that protection: You just want to create that feeling in your man.

Tina Fey is just a great teacher the art of being cute. You will learn a lot, watching her.

She has never pretended to be a top model or a sex symbol. Still, she drives men crazy.

She knows how to be coy at the right moment. That’s what makes her irresistible.

Look at Tina. You always feel that she’s in a kind of flirting mood with the audience. But in a teasing, lighthearted manner.

In this video, Tina shows you how it can be done.

#3 The touch

This could be your most powerful weapon to seduce your soon-to-be-boyfriend: men just love to be lightly touched by surprised. When you will have the chance, in a conversation, touch his forearm. Here’s another idea: put the palm of your hand on the hedge of his shoulder.

A great moment to use that technique is when you are laughing or when you want to look like a shy person ( “play cute” remember?).

Play it well and look how he reacts….

Here a personal example of how that technique can be effective.

A few years ago, I was looking for some garlic powder in a grocery store. Just couldn’t find it. So I asked a client if she had any idea where I could find that common seasoning. She smiled and said:

“You’re right in front of it!”

I was a bit ashamed of myself. So, just to make things worse, I said:

“Uh… Do they make some garlic in liquid?”

The woman was surprised: “I didn’t know they made some garlic in liquid, she replied.

I sighed: “They don’t. I just said something stupid.”

The woman laughed and put her hand on my shoulder. I still remember my reaction.

That woman was really, really not my type. But I felt a kind of energy flowing through my veins. Slightly, but it was there.

Lady, they are a lot of those techniques that you can use to make a man yours. But the light, safe touch is of your best weapon to seduce a man without being too obvious.

#4 Play the game without being weak.

In another article, I said that most men still feel the need to protect the women they love. That desire will take hundreds of years to disappear totally. There are many ways you can use to feed that need without being a weak woman.

Here’s an example of how you can play that game without saying a word (the woman of my life used that technique at the beginning of our relationship): the next time you will cross a boulevard with your man, reach his arm to get closer. This is simple movement creates in a man the desire to protect.

#5 Show your naughty side

Cute women are men magnets. But do not be afraid to show that you like to have fun, sometimes: Men love vibrant women.

Teasing him is, sometimes, one of the best ways to show that you are cute and strong. Be sweet and have fun with him. Give his shoulder a nudge. If you can, make a few pranks (of course, they will have to be funny for both of you). To know more about the art of teasing, read the article How to make him fall in love with me. The art of teasing).

In conclusion, your goal is to make him say:

“Oh, that woman is so cute. And she’s kind crazy too!”

Now, go and find your amazing man!

Make him crazy about you.

P.S. Click on the link to read the article form the NIH website.

Love.

XXXX

Jo Fontaine

Love, happiness, enjoy life! ♥

Will I ever get a boyfriend? How to deal with anxiety and find him

Know the signs of anxiety