A 43 Years Old Woman Says: What’s Your Mindset? Maybe You Should Change It. Here’s Why…
Here’s something that wish I could tell you, face to face (something very important).
It something that will prove that Sophia Bush was right when she said in those beautiful words:
“Marriage is not about age; it’s about finding the right person.”
Have doubt? No problem. As you read that real story I’m about to tell you, you will feel that there are no time limits to find happiness in marriage (by the way to destroy your doubts, read the article I can’t find a boyfriend!” destroy your doubt).
So here we go.
Meet Sara. A Woman Who Have Found A Perfect Husband At 41
Her name is Sara. With no “h”, she says. She is a 43 smiling woman. People just love to see her, to talk to her. Sara and I have decided to talk a bit.
“Is there a Starbuck around here, I asked? I’m not sure…”
“Yes. We just have to walk 10 minutes”.
She wanted to share her story; to show how she has found her perfect husband at 41 years old.
She never thought that it could happen to her. Not this way.
But it did.
Now, I want to share story to you to prove that it wonderful experience can happen to you if you follow a few simple steps
“The thing is that you really have to change your mind set, she said after ordering a cut of tea”.
I frowned. She saw it.
I mean how many times have you heard that before?
Well what does that mean? How do you do that?
She smiled. I felt like she could read into my mind.
“I mean seriously. You have to change the way you think. About getting married, about being single. You have to rethink your love life. The relation you have with your community, your family, your kids(if you have any), your friends.”
“Boy“, I mumbled. “It seems like a lot of work”.
“Not necessary, Sara said taking a peek in her cup”
She spitted the tea back in the cup.
“So hot, so hot, she said, smiling.”
No doubt, that woman was in a fantastic mood that day. It’s like there was nothing that could bother her.
“The most difficult thing is to realize that you have to change your way of thinking. When you decide to make that step, things will go pretty smooth afterward”.
What’s Your Mindset? Anyway, Change It. Here’s Why…
“After my divorce, I was crushed. I was humiliated. I even thought about quitting my church, my community”.
She shook slightly her head.
“That would have been the biggest mistake of my life”.
I asked why, even if I already knew the answer.
What she said surprised me
“This is where you start to change your mind set. I mean for a Christian”.
Now I was hooked up to her words. I wanted to know more.
You see, when you are single again, people say that you will have to learn to be alone. I see things different. Now, it’s the time to understand that you will have to be happy by yourself, to feel good by yourself. That’s what God asked asked to each and every one.
It has been a while I’ve been in church but I thought about Psalm 34:8
“O taste and see that the LORD is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!”
Sara noded. Her smile looked ever larger than before
“You should come to my church, Jo. Just once, OK? We always need a good musician. “
She gently tap on my hand and said:
“And what about this one”
For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
The Golden Rule
As I was listening I felt the power of her words.
“You have to feel great at first because that what being a Christian is all about. Feeling great because of the love of God. Now this is how I see things. I guess it will be different for somebody with other beliefs. But you can’t bypass that rule: you must feel great at first, has you are single.”.
Sara wanted to dedicate more and more of her life to Jesus. She wanted to feel closer and closer to him. She decided that she deserves to feel great because of the wonderful gift she has received.
“Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me” -Psalm 16:6
“At a certain point, I felt so good inside that I ask myself if it was really necessary to get married again. And my answer was no.”
Then she got closer to me.
“And that’s when I met him, she whispered”.
Let Things Go. You Will Find Him.
“I couldn’t believe it. I had practically stopped looking for a man. But I found one. In my church! This time, my mind set was totally different. I was happy with myself. There was no rush. So I had time to think. I had time to ask myself the 5 questions.”
I asked if those questions were like a screening process. I’ve heard so much about those famous long lists of qualities that women write when they are looking for a man.
Sara laughed. “Yes I know. I had one too”.
“No, she said more seriously. That list was all about ego. The 5 questions were all about what this man will add to my community, to my church, to the life to my kids, to my family. What he will add to the joy I already has been a Christian?”.
“We loved with a love that was more than love”-Edgar Allan Poe
The 4 Questions To Find A Great Husband
So here are the questions to ask when you meet a man you like (and you already feel great about yourself has a single woman):
- What this man will add to your community?
- What this man will add to your church (or the charity organization you are involved as another example)?
- What will this man add to the life of your kids?
- What will this man will add to your life. You are complete by yourself. But you always can add a new layer of joy in your life.
Sara had to go.
So we stopped that fascinating discussion
She asked me again if I would come to her church. Hum, I said I would think about it.
I know that she will never accept that “no” as an answer…
I think I will just grab my synthesizer and go.
What do you think about the value of having a positive mindset? Do you have any questions? Don’t be shy. Write your comments here, in the little box below.