A star feels reborn
In the article Love and boyfriends: Do the opposite really attract?, we have talked about the importance to find a man who has the same values you have. Of course, you are not looking for a male version of yourself (right?). But does it mean that a man, with the same philosophy you have, will be the right husband for you? Well not necessarily. In a beautiful article on Enews, Cameron Diaz shares her experience with us. Sure, she talks about common values. But something surprised me when I started to read her opinion about a happy marriage. No doubt, Cameron has something to say.
The movie star thinks that everything has to do with timing. See, Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden, her now husband, have been friends for years before they started to date. Then something happened.
“What happened, Jo”
Well, no. It has nothing to do with synchronized breakups.
“Hey! You are single, I’m single. Let’s get together!”
Looks like it’s something deeper than that. In the article 3 reasons why your man hesitates to marry you and what you can do about it-part 1, I said that men tend to think in terms of steps in life: now it’s time to get children. Now it’s time to get married. No, the time to get engaged is not there yet. A man will feel that he has made a wrong move if he thinks that he has made a step before the time is arrived: he has not experienced to the fullest the precedent step. This feeling can totally ruin a relation. Maybe this is why Cameron says that you need to…
“Find someone in the same place as you are…”
“OK. So I need to find a man who is mature enough get engaged in a serious relationship and get married”.
Again, the Charlie’s Angel seems to see further than that! I have to admit it, when I read her declaration, I raised a eyebrow. Hear what she says about her own identity problem:
“ I just went: “I can’t say who I am to myself”. It’s a hard thing to face up to”.
But wait. There’s more…
”I felt the need to make myself whole”, she says.
Isn’t that beautiful? The need to feel united. Yes, we are broken up in hundreds of little desires that tyrannize us every day.
“I want this because, when I will get it, I will feel great. But how long it will take to make it happen? And then, when I have it, will I be able to keep it? For how long? It must be humiliating to lose what you dreamed for so long. Gosh, it’s so complicated!”
See, Cameron Diaz is a movie star. For all her career, she was always looking for her next contract, her next movie. She worked long hours, sometime 7 days a week.
“OK now, it’s done! Next movie.”
Sure, her love choices were not the best ones. In fact, her life was a real mess. So she decided to make a drastic decision. Enough is enough!
Hollywood, I’m done with you!
In 2014, she decided to retire after the remake of the classic movie Annie. Now she decides to take care of herself. She is not interested to keep all that professional and personal pressure on her shoulders. She will just live in the present moment. Carpe diem (read more about that concept in the article 1 mistake you don’t want to make when you are looking for a boyfriend)
“I’m not looking for a husband. I’m living, not thinking about what I should do or not do with my life”
And it worked!
Where you start
Now she’s been married for 4 years. Most people have no clue about her happiness. But she doesn’t care. See, her advice is important for all of us. To find the right husband, you will have to rely on timing. Timing, here, is when you decide to take care of yourself and the man has made the decision to do the same. Living together is now like a teamwork. It’s the ultimate way to accelerate the process that you have already started.
Now how will you find a man who have made that decision, you may ask? Lady! Start with your own resolution. You will have to start the engine. It’s time to do your part for your life. Then you will find him. Just like it happened to Cameron.
May all your dreams happen this year for you.
Be unified. Make yourself whole.
Do you have any question? Any comments? Share them with us in the little white box below.
Now you know that well-being and a happy marriage is linked.
Go lady! And find your amazing man