That ugly monster…
So Amanda says that she may have found a last a great guy? She just used the tips that she has found in her EBook get a great guy guide and it worked. Awesome!
Amanda is so relieved. She doesn’t want to spoil her chances. She has to be careful. She thinks that any mistake can make him go away. And there is her first wrong move. Letting fear get into the relationship… This is the first of the 2 very important advice for dating I will give you today: don’t let that monster get in the way, lady…
Advice #1: We too have fears…
In an article that you can on the NCBI website, the writer says that kids aged of 3 to 5 years old feel the presence of imaginary danger. Those fears are not like the ones you had when you were 2-3 years old: if you’re 4, you have some problems to separate real form unreal situations.
Hum… Only kids have that problem?
I mean we all have that problem.
“We are afraid too much; for fear that the other person does not care at all” Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes, First Lady. You took the words right out of my mouth. Even if you died more than 50 years ago… Fear can totally scew up the great vibration you have. When it happens, you start to ask boring questions to that cute guy an at the 2nd and 3rd date, things slowly turn in the wrong direction. What happened? Well you are only trying to play it safe.
You are always calculating your next move. If you say this, maybe he will have that reaction. If you act that way, maybe he will think this way. And her’se that handsome man who has the feeling that he’s dating a kind of machine. Or worst: he thinks that you are not interested in him…
If that’s what you are…
“Here I am. This is me” Here I am– Bryan Adams.
Now understand me. You have the right to be nervous. I am closed to my emotion and I’m not ashamed of them. You will just have to find a soft way to get rid of that fear. Or at least a part of it… Here’s how to do it.
Just admit it.
Are you very nervous in the restaurant? Things seem to be so perfect. The food is great, the guy is cute, and the music is so romantic. But you can’t find something to say. Well, try this:
Say with a smile: “sorry…. I’m so nervous“.
Let’s say that you are shy. You can use the same technique that my girlfriend used when we started dating.
“Ugh… I’m so shy…” she said with a little smile.
Just admit it. You have no idea of the power of this technique. First the man you are dating will say in this heart.
“It’s so cute”
He will try to tell you that it is OK. But the most important reason to admit how you feel is that he will respect you. You don’t try to play any kind of game. You are true to yourself. Men love it. Somewhere in their mind, there’s always a voice that says that women are always faking and playing games. When a man hears that you truly communicate how you feel, he will think that he can put down his guard (at least for a while).
Of course being true with your emotion does not mean that you can say this:
“I nervous because the 3 last guys I dated where real jerks. Now I don’t know if you are part of that jackass team too.”
You know what I mean?
“‘cause all I want is some action, action, action, not words” Action, not words– Def Leppard
“Just don’t go changing to try to please me” Just the way you are– Billy Joel.
This part will be shorter than the first one. It’s about how organize your life. Of course, you already know that if your soon-to-be boyfriend likes you, there’s a reason. There’s something great in your personality. Now, part of what you are is simply what you do. Here I’m talking about how you organize your life, how you spend your time. Remember how you felt the last time you were with your friends. What is your favorite hobby? Do you practice yoga? Are you a metal head? How many times do you go to a rock or pop concert? All those activities are part of your personality. Now tell me. Why would you change anything just because you just met a man?
Now, here I’m not making a feminist statement. Well not really… I’m just saying that there no reason to cancel your activities because you just have met a cute man. Your activities have created in you that great vibe that he seems to like. Why would you ruin a great recipe?
What you will get
”I ain’t gonna do you no wrong when you’re gone. Ain’t gonna do you no wrong ‘cause I don’t wanna” Respect– Aretha Franklin.
No need to ask for it, miss Franklin. You just have to do what you have to do. Men understand that principle. If he notices that you are always canceling your appointments for a date, he will feel that you are not well centered. I don’t mean that he will not respect you: it depends on the kind of man he is.
But for sure, when you start to neglect your friends and your activities for a man, you will for sure lose that sparkle that you had the first time he met you: now you look like a needy woman. A needy woman is dangerous. It means for the man that soon or later we will feel like he owns something to the lady.
He will feel trapped.
That is one of the biggest reasons why most men will pull away. The idea that man need to be the hunter is true to some point (even if it has always been overrated)… All men are not necessarily hunters. Some are thinkers, some are warriors.
But no man wants to be caught in a trap.
Now you know how to keep that sparkle that makes you so unique.
Go, lady. And find your amazing men.