“What did I’ve done to deserve this?” What did I’ve done– Zara Angel
So you think that, maybe, you do not have what it takes to find the man of your dreams… What? You say:
“Maybe I’m not sexy enough. I need to lose some weight.
“I do not have that look men love to see…”
“I’m boring. Maybe that’s the reason they don’t like to talk to me”
Today we are going to talk about that third remark (I’ve heard that one so many times…). It’s possible that you have said it to a friend of yours recently. Or maybe that you have just said it in your head. You? Boring? C’mon lady. Cut the baloney…
This is not what you are
“I’m a boring little lady, don’t you think, Jo?”
I look at her and I say to myself:
“Why does she think that I’m bored? Our date is going just fine.”
Of course, this lady is shy. She doesn’t really know who to talk to men. At least, She already knows that I’m not the kind of guy who will hurt her. I will not find an excuse to leave the restaurant, saying suddenly that I will have to get up early tomorrow to go to work (a Sunday). As a matter of fact, that is the reason why she feels unsecured.
“If I’m boring, he will not say a word about it. But he will never call me back.”
You already know how vital it is to have a good image of yourself (to know more about it, read the article Find and seduce a man with your irresistible charisma). It I will confess this: I have never seen a boring woman yet. Yes, you will find idiots in the masculine or feminine gender. But boring? In my own experience, I’ve seen only boring men. So don’t be scared about that. This is not you.
It’s what you think about yourself
But let go straight to the point. If you think that you are boring, you will unconsciously act exactly the way you should so that your attitude follows your thoughts: you will be boring.
Remember that shy woman I talk about? Well surprise! That sweet lady has a great sense of humor. To hear her laughing is like hearing a sweet waterfall. Very refreshing, so relaxing…
After the dinner, here I propose to go the movies. A little smile: she starts to feel that I’m interested in her.
“What do you want to see?”, I ask.
Hummm… I will have to decide: she is blushing just trying to make a choice. It’s all right.
But man! Sometimes the movie choice I make can be so lousy… You know, the kind of movie where the bad guy always says clichés like:
“I could tell… But then I will have to kill you…”
So, after the movie, I’m a bit ashamed of myself. As we walk outside, she looks at me, smiling, and says:
“Don’t worry. I’m interested in your personality, not in your awful movie taste”.
There’s no boring women, girl. Hear me?
It’s how you speak to your friends
The first step you will have to make is simply to think about is the way you talk to your friend. Notice how you laugh at things, how you are relaxed. What is the tone of your remarks? What is your overall attitude when one of your friends is teasing you? I’m sure that you have a certain body language when you are surrounded by people you care about. This is your style. This is your personality as you express it physically. This attitude will be the touchstone of your reflexion when you ask yourself:
“How can I make that cute guy listen to me? How can I have a great conversation with him?”
I remember, when I was in my early 20s I had problems to hold a conversation with strangers. Didn’t know what to say… So I borrowed books about the subject. I didn’t have the chance to read the Ebook conversation chemistry (it was not written yet). So nothing seemed to work. The funny thing is that this problem never seemed to occur when I was with my best friends. Seems that unconsciously, I’ve decided to find a way to talk to strangers that is as close as possible to the way I talk to my friends. You know what I mean? Do this and you will follow the common advice you hear when you ask how to approach a cute guy:
“Just be yourself…”
“Hum… I’ve heard that one before, Jo”
Yes, but remember the idea just above. Your goal is to observe how to talk to your friends, your sister, brother, your parents. For instance, notice how you react when favorite cousin says that he just have found a new job. What kind of question do you ask? In what you tone of voice?
Start to practice with the stranger you meet every day. Hum… It seems that like you like the silk scarf the lady at the cash register is wearing. Try to recreate the attitude, the tone you have usually when you talk to somebody you know very well. Of course, you will not talk to a perfect stranger exactly in the same way you talk to your best friend. But with time, you will find the “sweet spot”. The tone that is just right: the voice that sounds like the one you have with your gals but less friendly. Once you get it, all you have to do is to keep that tone of voice when you talk to a man. You don’t have hold back your personality when you meet a cute guy. Just be yourself.
Do you have any questions, any comments? Please, share your thoughts in the little white box below.
Now you know that you cannot be a boring woman. You always have something to give.
Now go and find your amazing man!